Relationship Theory 1: The unreliable whore

All relationships are different. Some work, some don't. Even for some that 'work', some interesting parallels can be drawn.

This guy I know, we'll call him 'my friend' because a name like Jonathon Starker is too impersonal, and it's really outside the scope of this article how much of a friend he is, so let's just drop it. So my friend was dating a girl who most would call 'high maintenance.' She liked to go out for expensive meals, expensive clubs, gifts, jewelery, the whole bit. And hey, some people have expensive tastes, and that in itself isn't a problem. Now, she's also got him whipped to buy these things for her and take her to these places. And hey, as long as it's not me and I'm not expected to keep myself from laughing at him and making fun of him, that's not really a problem either.

The interesting problem shows up in this situation:

My friend plans a great night for him and his girlfriend. They're going to a play. Big fancy play with nice seats. But first there's dinner at a ritzy restaurant, and the night is topped off with good times in a hotel room. Things are going great, they're both having a good time, when a girl with an amazing rack walks by. My friend looks, his girlfriend sees, and the night is ruined. She's angry at him for the rest of the night and so nothing happens at the hotel room. And hey, if he was looking, then it's his fault. If it was just a glance because a human being was walking by and people do that, then it's her fault. Regardless, it happens.

The problem is that the 'high maitenence' definition really applies, and nothing will probably happen until the next nice (for her this means expensive) thing he does for her.

So lots of money spent on a nice evening, and it's ruined. No way to get it back. Too bad it wasn't more of a reliable transaction. Like going to Mistress Vixen's House Of Poon. There, when you spend a bunch of money, you get sex. It's a business transaction. My friend still needs to spend money, but he's not guaranteed a return on his purchase. She's an unreliable hooker.

If this has happened to you, then I'm sorry to say you're dating one too. Buy your girlfriend nothing for the next month or so. Does the sex stop? Yea, you can get a better, more reliable deal down and the Intergalactic Pleasure Dome.